I always wonder what if, you know. And I’ll always wonder.
I think of a time where we could have talked about the future. Where we could have gone home together and not worried about what other people thought. A life of anniversary presents, holidays away, meeting the parents. Being disgustingly touchy feely in public and grossing everybody out, knowing that we’d be grossed out by the same thing but that’s okay. Reading books in cafes. Discussing future kids names without getting freaked out. Not having the walls that we never seemed to be able to knock down.
But you take the good with the bad. The memories I have are amazing. I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.
The truth is, no one will really know what we were like or what we went through.
When your ex is your best friend, it’s the most uniquely wonderful yet somewhat difficult experience.
What do you do? What do you feel? You both broke up on really good terms, so you’re not mad. No, no, no. You’re happy. You’re supportive. You understand each other really well.
But what do you do when another person is in the picture? Supportive. But then…you had feelings for them. The jealousy comes seeping in, like an unwanted house guest. You try so hard to edge it to the corner of your mind, to suppress it. You have your good and bad days. Naturally positive, your bad days don’t last long. But they came and go.
Here’s to a future where I’m best friends with my ex.
With him, it’s always worth it.
(And Taylor always fits every situation.)