on growth.

What I miss from home are the simple things:

  • the coffee
  • the 15 minute walk every morning to my office door
  • work drinks on Friday
  • laughing until I cry at work (seriously, I had the most wonderful team!)
  • chill (kiwis are laid back, y’know?)
  • driving
  • fish and chips on the beach
  • wellington waterfront fireworks with the same people every year
  • living with cats
  • Sweet Mother’s Kitchen (basically the best restaurant you could ever go to)
  • my uni friends
  • my best friend (you know who you are – I MISS YOU!)

What I don’t miss from home:

  • the anxiety and suffocation (in Wellington)
  • the expensive flights
  • drama
  • the wind
  • rent prices (luckily, I have cheap rent here!)

Being away from home, you learn a lot about yourself.

In fact, I was faced with my insecurities; my body image, the way I saw myself, was shaken, quite strangely. One pimple on my face, and I didn’t even want to look in the mirror. That wasn’t me, the girl who worried about that kind of thing. It’s still not me. Homesickness came and went like the tide. Crying one minute, happy the next. But that’s part of it, really. I am getting there a little bit slowly, and a lot surely.

I feel free. In Wellington, it was wonderful and the most important part of my life (so far!), but I was stuck for the last year. The decisions I made, I felt I had to justify them to people and I felt like they would affect everyone. I was stressed, a lot. One of the happiest days of my life (I stress, ONE of them) was the day I left Wellington. Strange, right? Because Wellington was my home for 8 years. I’d go back there, for sure. But when I left, sitting in the passenger seat of my Dad’s bright blue Ford Falcon, I gazed out the window and thought this is good. bye, wellington! It was like I was a caged bird, finally free.

Okay, I sound dramatic. But that’s how I felt. Having that distance has meant that I know what was, and is, important to me. Who my true friends are. Who I want in my life in the future. The world is so much larger than stressing over the small things in a small country (a small country I adore, and can’t wait to come home to, nevertheless).

If you know me, you’ll know I’m happy and positive by default. I tend to make the most of every situation, and I’m never down for long. I stand up on my feet and just do it. This is what I’m learning being across the other side of the world. It’s all about growth. Knowing who you are. What you want, what you definitely do not want, and becoming strong enough to stand up for what you believe in. It’s harder than it looks. But, it’s becoming easier.

Here’s to future growth! (& good coffee).


5 thoughts on “on growth.

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