I am always looking forward.
I just suddenly noticed that, as I just spent the last hour pinning bookcases and inspiration for my future home, picturing myself, my cat, my dog, some potential man, in New Zealand.
I’ve planned to stop in Canada for a few months on the way back home from London when I’m kicked out of the country (aka: when my visa comes to an end) in 2017. Then to Melbourne to visit one of my best friends. Then New Zealand, where I am ready to settle down.
Settle down. What do people think when you hear the words settle down? A Kimbra song? A husband, marriage, children? A white picket fence? For me, it starts with a home. And then a man. To be honest, I’d prefer to do it the other way around, but as a single girl with hardly any money (I’m practically Elizabeth Bennett) living in a big city, it’ll have to be the home first. But then, anything can happen in 2 years. Anything can happen, period!
I’m always looking forward. I’m like Jay Gatsby, always reaching for the green light (but it’s a green light which is forever changing). At high school, there was the exciting future prospects of studying for whatever career I wanted (museum curator! author! journalist! librarian! editor!). Then came university, and I was thinking ahead to what my first job would be. 4 years later comfortably seated in a Government office job, I was thinking of travel; the most exciting thing to look forward to, the exotic daydreams of the places I could go to, the people I could meet. It was all I saw.
Now, I’m sitting in an office in Notting Hill, London and I made it. I ticked it off my future list. I’m here. Now, I’m thinking, where to go? Yorkshire for Christmas/Germany in January/Switzerland inthenottoodistantfuture and the rest is history. I’m a wanderer. Everyday I look up a different country, pin new destinations to my pinterest, and I’m going.
But in true Jamie fashion, I’m always looking ahead (ahead, ahead). It’s the future that keeps me going, the carrot on a stick in front of me that I’m always running towards. The ideas, the possibilities. It’s a marvellous way to live, in my books. It works for me.
I’m thinking of my career – working in an office, and studying librarianship on the side? Study to be a primary school teacher? Or something different, something I’m not even entirely sure of yet at my 26 years of age, something that will strike me at 3pm on a Wednesday with a light bulb moment. Something is always waiting on the wing. Your future is a shadow.
I’m thinking of the novel I’ve yet to write; simply ideas coming to me as I cross the street to the tube station, with nothing to write down on but my hand or my notes section of my phone. I’m thinking of the kind of dog I’ll have, what I’ll name my cat. The cushions I’ll have on my sofa, the kind of bookcase I want (perhaps my dad will make me one), the theme I’ll have at my wedding, the kind of relaxed lifestyle I’ll have with the person I will spend my life and time with. I’m thinking of visiting my sisters, drinking glasses of wine on the porch, finally being a regular part of their lives, not confined to Facebook chats and visits once a year.
Who knows what order anything will be in, but I feel content about where things are heading. I could be tempted to take a detour along the way 😉
What are you guys looking forward to in your life? Your 5 year plan, maybe? I’d love to hear it!