the tale of bertie.

“So his boyfriend Jeff is staying with us at the moment,” Phil said.

“What? I thought he had a girlfriend?!” My boss exclaimed.

“Oh, he does, but he has a boyfriend now, too.” He said calmly. “Jeff is lovely. He’s grey haired and fast, and zaps around the house like this…zzz…”


Would you believe they were talking about a little 6 year old Dachshund named Bertie, and his little dog boyfriend? That dog has a better love life than me!

Today, one of my boss’ friends Phil, a London gardener, came to visit our office with his dog Bertie. Phil is a gardener to very important people – he gardens for celebrities, and the rich in Notting Hill and Kensington area. He also gardened for P D James, the author, who apparently was besotted with Bertie.

Bertie sniffed his way around our office, getting pats from me and the accountant, while his owner showed us his owl hoot impression. He’s a character – so bubbly, and lovely, he’s like the kind of person you’d see doing nature documentaries on TV. Almost an air of Steve Irwin, large hands gesturing as he tells stories.

Before he left, he picked Bertie up and the dog licked his face affectionately.

“Did you know Bertie even has a kissing step at home? He walks up the stairs until he’s my height, sticks his head through the rails and gives me a kiss. I don’t mind dog kisses at all. It keeps your immune system up! It’s not the nicest breath in the world, but a dog’s a dog.”

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